It is hard to fathom what went wrong when everything in our life shut down in March. This was a historical event that no one in the world has ever experienced. Grandparents, parents, children, doctors, therapists, world leaders…..no one has went thru what we all have gone through together over the last few months. Most of us went to offices, took children to school and enjoyed perhaps weekend family/friend outings just days before we were told to stay inside. There were travel plans, work and children events, family and career plans left to participate in and complete. Life was going as planned, until the news of a pandemic menacingly striking people across the globe broke out. 

People were confined to their homes and life has changed dramatically for most, and potentially may never look the same. Markets, parks, shopping centers in fact entire countries were put on lockdown and life has changed for the world, and who knows after this what the “new normal” is going to be?
However, what I have seen in my practice and with the individuals, couples and families that I work with, is the resiliency in spite of, this pandemic. Families, and individuals coming together, making the best of the situation, bringing strategies to their life that are working, some that are not working but hoping and searching for ways to live in the present moment, while reaching for the future and redesigning their life to fit this new world. 

Exactly what that may look like, none of us know, but there are actions, strategies and ways of being that will keep us connected, moving forward, and building relationships that will continue to grow and keep us connected. We are built for community, even during lock downs. We have seen this thru out the world. People reaching towards one another. How they do this, reach, has been inspiring and life changing for a great many of us. And we do it every day in our own lives and families. I work with couples, individuals, and children, making these “reaches”, within themselves and amongst themselves. This is how we survive and thrive.
Here are a few ways that I have found and my clients have been working on in their own lives and homes.
Develop a family routine

A change in routine can sometimes be a source of unnecessary stress for everyone in the family. By helping develop a routine pre-COVID level of normalcy can be maintained. It can be helpful if you take input from each family member to ask what their daily routine will be during this time period. 

Following are some ideas to help your family develop a routine:
– Wake up and have breakfast according to your normal schedule.
– Set up space that may not have been available before Covid, for everyone to do their work/school, etc so there is no overlap if possible.
– Include breaks for exercise, walk around the block, get some sun!
– Involve everyone in preparing dinner. Eat together, Set aside some time in the night for reading books or watching a movie together.
– Go to bed on time, keep scheduling to keep normalcy. Things are getting back to normal!
– Ask kiddos for their input, what will help them feel part of the family? Are they missing their friends, is there a way to include them?
– Don’t forget couple time! Even if you are all together as a family, you still need individual and couple alone time.
– Begin a Mindfulness practice, include the children, www.insighttimer.com is free and over 24,000 meditations a day.
– YouTube exercise Classes! There is such a variety of classes on line from Boflex, to individual dance classes and personal trainers. You may get in the best shape of your life.

Use this time as we are beginning to go back out in the world, to be safe, stay connected, re-explore relationships with co-workers, neighbors and your family as an opportunity, to find out what is important to you, who you want to be in relationship and who you choose to be with in relationship. Re-define those definitions based on the forced choice that we all just went through to now having a choice of what relationship looks and feels like on a 24 x7 basis! Would love to hear from anyone your thoughts and ideas. Carolyn@collaboratecounseling.com