When people talk about sexual performance anxiety, they often describe a moment when intimacy suddenly begins to feel like a test. Instead of noticing warmth, touch, pleasure, or connection, the mind starts asking questions: Am I aroused enough? Is my partner enjoying this? Am I taking too long? What if my body does not respond? […]
Sexual Performance Anxiety: How to Stop “Spectatoring” and Stay Present Read More »
When a client walks into my office and shares that their relationship is falling apart, they often point to standard culprits: money, communication, or a general “growing apart.” But as a therapist, I frequently find myself looking for the invisible third partner in the room—a mental health condition. Whether it is anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression,
Loving Through the Fog: Mental Diagnosis, ADHD, and the Fight for Balance in Partnership Read More »
When you say “I do” or commit to a long-term relationship, you agree to walk alongside your partner through life’s unpredictable terrain. But when a mental health diagnosis enters the picture—whether it is generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD, bipolar disorder, major depression, or OCD—it rarely affects just one person. A mental health condition becomes an uninvited
Partnering with a Diagnosis: Navigating Mental Health as a Couple Read More »
In many struggling marriages, there is a ghost in the room. It sits between the couple during every argument about the laundry, every forgotten anniversary, and every “simple” conversation that spirals into a blowout. That ghost is often undiagnosed ADHD. As a therapist, I have seen couples on the brink of divorce who believe they have
The Silent Third Party: How Undiagnosed ADHD Can Unravel a Marriage Read More »
When couples sit on my office couch, they often bring a silent, heavy frustration with them. More often than not, they frame their struggles around a classic cultural narrative: “He’s a man, so he just shuts down,” or “She’s a woman, so she gets too emotional.” For decades, popular psychology told us that heterosexual men and women are
Beyond the Mars and Venus Myth: A Therapist’s Guide to Gender, Traits, and Connection Read More »
If you’ve noticed a sudden surge of articles, podcasts, and social media discourse surrounding adult enmeshment, you aren’t alone. My previous blog on this topic resonated nationwide, sparking a massive wave of engagement. It clear that we have struck a collective nerve. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), I see this phenomenon playing
In clinical practice, people-pleasing is often framed as a relational survival strategy rather than simply a personality trait. Many individuals who struggle with chronic accommodating, over-functioning, or conflict avoidance are not “weak” or inherently inauthentic—they are adapting to early environments where connection, approval, or emotional safety felt conditional. Over time, however, what once functioned as
In the early, intoxicating days of a relationship, we often feel like we’ve found our “missing piece.” If you are a high-energy, fast-talking extrovert, you might be mesmerized by the quiet, grounded presence of an introvert. If you are a reserved, reflective soul, you might be invigorated by someone who breathes life into every room
In the world of family therapy, there’s a recurring theme I hear from many couples: the early years of raising young children can be the most challenging. While parenting is an incredibly rewarding journey, it also brings significant stress and change to a marriage. Couples often enter this phase with dreams of balancing a fulfilling
Life Transitions and How to Stay Connected as a Couple and Family Read More »
Introduction As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), I have had the privilege of working with over 12,000 couples in the Denver Tech Center (DTC). Throughout my practice, I have been increasingly aware of a troubling trend: the lack of sexual intimacy among couples. This phenomenon is particularly pronounced among the demographic I see
Male and Female Sexual Dysfunction in America: Why Are So Many Couples Not Having Sex? Read More »